Alright. Let's try something different. My friends tell me that I'm always way too serious about the technology games. So here's a tongue-in-cheek blog item about new tech. Try and grin just a bit as you read. I'm trying to see the humorous side of this one...

We love ya, Bill (well kinda), but many of us are a tad nervous. OK: We're a LOT nervous. Let's see... A voice activated synchronizing (please don't say control) system for automobiles...? As in built into vehicles traveling at 65+ miles per hour...? That would be a closing speed—or potential impact speed—of 130 MPH, or so... Oh, goodie. Now we can converse with—maybe even argue with—our car. At speed. For that matter, should we all still be a bit concerned even if the other guy might only be clipping along at 20 miles per hour? That's still a potentially big—and downright costly—dent in yonder fender.

Only four more short paragraphs--read on, if you will...

Now we all get the entertaining opportunity of enjoying other people piloting moving vehicles—many of whom can barely handle the process of getting from point “A” to point “B” without bonking into other objects. We all know of the intense need for multi-national enterprises to diversify, but automotive voice control? Please tell me that this isn't a bit of a four wheeled version of the latest--greatest?!?--operating system for my computer...

Here's a concept: How about we get to work on creating a PC operating system that doesn't crash at the drop of a hat before we move on to building computer systems for high speed motorized vehicles? Picture your local hacker digitally sliding into your vehicle system via your cell connection and “adjusting” the horizontal or the vertical hold. I'm not so sure we wouldn't end up in a bumper-car version of The Outer Limits. But, nope, that couldn't happen with a Washington-built interactive system, could it?

Then again, maybe it's all media hype. Consider, for example, the Mitsubishi TV ad with three separate but nearly identical speeding vehicles that appear to swerve together and merge together to form a single car? Did we really need the notice: “Do not attempt. Professional driver on closed course.” to know that this isn't likely to happen in the real world? Does the teenager next door genuinely believe that he's a stunt double in The Fast and The Furious? 

Maybe you've seen the one with the young couple driving their sub-compact across the roof parapet and ledges of a multi-story building? In this cutting edge ad, do we actually need to be warned, “Automobiles cannot drive on buildings...” so that we aren't tempted to zip out and try doing it ourselves? Besides, how would we get our little four-wheeled darling up to the roof in the first place?

I think my main fear is that this kind of growing--slightly bent?--consumer awareness process assumes that the average consumer is significantly less intelligent than your everyday ordinary musk melon. Seems like there are a large number of parallel customer relations management perspectives in the technology marketing businesses. (But, wait... I promised to stay humorous...)

So, I'll shut up.